“The Importance of Independence - Why You Have to Let Your Toddler Struggle Through Doing New Tasks” plus 1 more

The Importance of Independence - Why You Have to Let Your Toddler Struggle Through Doing New Tasks

Posted: 05 Sep 2009 04:32 PM PDT

Yesterday I urged parents to teach their toddlers skills at an early age, even if it is something that the parent can do much more quickly for her child. Here's an example of that....teaching your toddler how to put on his own coat.

This is one of the skills we teach the children fairly early in the year. Believe it or not, there are many steps involved in the process:

1. The child needs to be sure the sleeves aren't inside out.
2. He must lay it out on the rug so that it's wide open.
3. He must be sure he is standing at the hood or tag.
4. He needs to bend over so he can put his hands and part of his arms into the sleeves.
5. He now has to flip it over without it falling off his arms.
6. Finally, he pushes his arms completely into the sleeves, and voila!

For many kids, it only takes a couple of times before they have the motion down. The first several times they are successful, they shout "I did it!" with glee. They are so very proud of themselves.

Other kids have more trouble. One boy, Freddy, simply couldn't remember that his hood needed to be between his legs. Therefore, every time he flipped the jacket over his head, it was upside down, with the hood trailing between his legs. For a few days, we told him that he had done a wonderful job putting his coat on all by himself, but it was upside down. We encouraged him to try it again the right way. Unfortunately, Freddy got really frustrated that he always had to flip his jacket a second time. So, one day, even though his coat was on upside down, we let him leave the classroom as he was. It wasn't cold outside and his pride in putting on his jacket by himself seemed to outweigh the fact that it was on wrong.

Freddy's mother, not understanding our motives, was unhappy that we let him leave the classroom with his coat on upside down. She initially believed that we just hadn't noticed. My teaching partner invited Freddy's mother to come into the classroom so she could explain why he was dressed that way. She told his mother about his frustration and how important we felt it was to encourage his success.

"Today, when we noticed that he was really struggling, we wanted him to know that we appreciated how hard he was trying and that he was being persistent," she explained. "We thought it would be better for him to concentrate more on what he did right than what he did wrong. Today, we wanted him to have an opportunity to really feel good and not frustrated by what he had done."

The teacher suggested that Freddy take his coat off and show his mother how he can put it on all by himself. She reminded him to stand with the hood between his legs. Voila! He put it on the right way. Now, both his mother and his teacher were praising his independence and telling him how proud they were that he put his coat on by himself. Sure, it would have been quicker for Freddy's mother to put his coat on herself, but without trial and error, he'd never learn to do it on his own.

Give your kids the time and opportunity to try to do things for themselves. You have to be patient, and you have to encourage them to be patient as well. It takes practice to master any new skill, and for a toddler, it may take many tries for success.

Potty Training - Is Your Toddler Ready?

Posted: 05 Sep 2009 05:59 AM PDT

Potty training is a huge milestone for your toddler-and there is nothing like the feeling of throwing away your last pack of diapers! Every child is different, but most kids are ready to start training some time after their second birthday. Start looking for signs of readiness in your child-attempting potty training too early can actually delay the process, and make your child fear and dislike the idea. Below are some of the signs that your toddler is ready to start a potty training program:

1. Your toddler is at least two years old. Most kids don't have the physical coordination and cognitive skills for potty training until they are past their second birthday. Some children may be ready earlier, but you shouldn't try potty training until your child is at least 18-20 months old, even if they are showing other signs of readiness.

2. Your toddler is physically ready. Your child may be ready to potty train when he is able to stay "dry" for several hours at a time, can walk, sit down, and stand up on his own, and can pull clothing on and off with assistance.

3. Your toddler is showing interest in the potty: If your toddler is showing interest in the potty, following older siblings into the bathroom, or wants to wear "big kid" pants, she is getting used to the idea of using the potty. Toddlers love to mimic adults and older siblings, and you can use this natural inclination to your advantage when it is time to potty train!

4. Your toddler tells you he has a dirty or wet diaper: If your child is letting you know that his diaper is wet, or expresses discomfort with a dirty diaper, he is on track to begin potty training soon. A child that is getting ready for potty training will often remove a soiled diaper or indicate that a new one is needed.

5. Your toddler can follow simple instructions: If your toddler is able to put toys away, or get a ball or toy when asked, she may have the cognitive skills needed to understand what potty training is all about.

6. Your toddler has a stable routine. If you are expecting to move, adding another baby to the family, going back to work, or know some other large change is coming, hold off on the potty training until your toddler is on a stable routine. Having a predictable schedule will help once you start training as well-if you introduce the potty after meals and before naptimes each day, your child will naturally work the potty into her daily routine.

When your toddler is reliably displaying some or most of the signs above, it may be time to introduce the potty for the first time. Be patient, and if your child seems unready in any way, put the potty away for a few weeks before trying again.